I have not even discussed this with my family and friends properly yet. I think the anonymity of the internet makes it easier. To be honest I have not told many of them about the fact I even have a blog! I guess I feel a little shy that they will think its silly. I have only told one or two people in my life. Im a bit odd like that. Im quite private which begs me to ask why did I start a blog in the first place??
As I have mentioned before we have our shop on the market. Originally 12 months ago we put it on the market to sell and then to buy a farm as agriculture is actually Grants background, it is what we have spent the last 12 years working towards. After little or no interest we came to the conclusion we would keep it, and buy a few acres to simply potter about on. There were things we could do on a few acres that would tie in with the shop. For starters Grant has his bug business which he was intending to expand, grow fruit and veg to sell in the shop, and also the possibility of storing bulk stray/hay/grain to package ourselves and expand into "fodder" out the back of the General Store which would have fitted well into the area as there are lots of little hobby properties, and once upon a time the shop did have a full hardware and fodder range.
But there has been a Chinese couple looking at our shop. We didn't think too much of it, its a tough economy, our shop is priced on the high side and it is a good, solid business and we had gotten used to the idea of keeping it. We recently employed one of our staff full time and life suddenly became much easier. We had a life plan that we were excited about.
But sometimes it seams no matter how much we try to plan God throws in a few curveballs. Yesterday the Chinese couple put forward an offer for the business. A good one, which on the surface seems to have good financial backing. It is not quite where we need it to be but it is certainly at a good starting place, and truth be told it would be very hard to walk away from. The husband is going back to China on Monday, possibly to talk to family about finances as the Chinese are good business people and often share money amongst family for these kinds of ventures. They already own one successful business so this is certainly not unfamiliar territory for them.
So now our minds are churning. If this goes ahead we will be potentially in the position to buy a farm, not just a hobby property! A basic farm, that needs work but hard work does not scare us. (actually sometimes Grants projects scare me just a little but not him, and since he is running them that's the main thing. I have faith in him, mostly....;) Most things in life worth doing require hard work. But it would mean a move interstate, possibly to NSW. There is far more high rainfall land there which makes it more affordable. And there are many more large rural centers with good facilities, many even have universities. Something SA is generally lacking. The economy here is SA is also a bit frighting. I would miss my family, friends and church family so much though.....
But there is also risk. Grant would be out of work completely, its a tough economy to find work in. There would still be plenty of expenses to pay. It could quickly eat into what we gain if we manage it badly. If the sale of the business goes through and it will take every penny we own to buy a farm and move us in. That's a scary concept! Homeschooling might become a real option for a couple of years. Whilst I know we are thrifty, resourceful and have a few things up our sleeve to tide us over part of me is cautious. Its like I have a little person on each shoulder. One is saying "don't throw it all away!", "it's too early!", "prepare better"! And the other is saying..."Go for it!", "how much is enough anyway?" "Life your life with adventure in your heart!".
So my mind is filled with dreams, fear, caution and the practical side of me which is saying "it's early days", its not a done deal", "don't get ahead of yourself", "it might not even sell".
So my poor old brain is pulling the entire thing apart from every which angle and will do so until it is settled. I am a thinker. Its how I process things. I pull it apart and then once I understand every aspect I put it back together and move on, if I cant put it back together it weighs on my heart. I try to hand it over to God by prayer which helps. It is a tiring way to be when something big comes up, like this which is essentially out of my hands and negotiating will take as long as it takes. But then it means I am attentive and learn a lot from situations too. Its funny how our weaknesses are often our strengths.
Anyway that is me today. And I am tired, Henry was up a lot overnight. He is getting a new tooth and dropped a small table on his big toe which bled and his toenail has now turned black. I suspect was sore and throbbing overnight and he kept bumping it in bed. I know as I dropped the same table on my toe and thought I had broken it and howled considerably at the time. This was Henry at some absurd hour last night for about the 5th time.....I love sleepy smiles, I know they say you shouldn't engage with them at night but I'm too soft for a sweet smelling, sad baby not to have a snuggle and a quiet chat.....shhhh......don't tell Grant...;)
Hope you have a lovely weekend.
xx
