So I have been pondering lately....
What is stopping us living the life we desire where we are?
We have no idea if we are going to sell our shop or not. There are people still seriously looking but still it does not mean alot, and it is taking more time then I ever imagined.
And I started thinking......What if we cant buy a farm? What if it takes us 10 more years to get there? The economy in SA is the worst in Australia. We may well be stuck for longer then we ever imagined.
The thought got me pretty down. I must admit.
But then I got thinking "what can we DO about it?" If we do have to stay here, how can we introduce the life we dream of and value into the life we have now? And also "whats holding us back?"
So what is holding us back?....
Our lack of imagination. Really is a part of it. We had a vision for what we were working towards and we were not willing to alter our dream for what we had in front of us. Sure we do bits and pieces, but we can do more.
Imagination and creativity - it is essential in all aspects of our lives. Not just in the sewing room!
But what we have in front of us is amazing. We have a very big block. But a lot of it is wasted. We tried to establish a big veggie patch down the back but we made a mistake where we put it. Instead of ripping it up, and re-evaluating the land we have and learning from our mistakes and re-doing it we gave up on it and stuck to my raised beds of herbs and greens near the front. It is still some but not as much as we COULD be doing. We decided since it was not our dream that we were not going to fully invest where we are. But that's ridiculous - because we only have what is in front of us right now. In this very moment.
So on the weekend we sat down together and talked. We talked about where we are, what we dream of and what we want to teach our boys through our lifestyle. We reflected on where we are falling down, and where we can improve. We reflected upon the changes we can make right now to throw ourselves into the lifestyle we value.
We drew up plans of the garden. We will be dividing the back half off to plant a giant veggie patch. We will be cutting down a big tree to allow more light into that section of the yard, dis-mantling some garden beds and moving them, moving decorative plants, and extending the chook yard. We will be getting a range of duel purpose heritage chooks for meat and eggs and we will butcher our own chooks. We have started exploring getting fertilized eggs to show the boys some simple things like chickens hatching. There is always the possibility of having a hive.
It will mean lots of building, digging and research. We will have to be thrifty in materials and think outside of the square to transform that space. But I'm excited and the feeling of restlessness and frustration what was creeping into my heart is giving way to excitement and contentment.
So I feel like God has smacked me over the back of the head. The only thing we can do is whats in front of us now. Today has enough troubles of its own. I have been reminded to be more present. To stop waiting for tomorrow. To slow down. That there is so much right here, in front of me I am not doing. To trust in Gods plan for our lives, despite the fact the time line seems to differ greatly from my own. To give thanks and be present in all the moments of the day.
Homeschooling is another thing that keeps coming back into my mind. Despite trying to shove it to the side. So I am going to research this, thoroughly. Perhaps realistically explore the logistics over the Christmas holidays.
Because I will not be any happier on a farm then I am now - happiness doesn't come from a place. It will come from living a life we see as meaningful. For us that means God is central, but it also means life is simple, family based, in the garden. Teaching our own children. Being on a farm will not equip me any better for these things then where I am now - it simply means we will have more space and seeing we are not utilizing the space we have now to the full effect we could, then more space will not serve us much good!
Anyway - gotta dash!