de-cluttering and greatfulness.

EDIT:  Sorry for re-posting, the order of my blog posts got mixed up somehow when I was editing this post and I struggled to get them back in order though I think I have it fixed now.  xx

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Excuse my tantrum the other day.  Sometimes it can feel like I'm the only one trying to keep this place in order, even though I know that is absolutely not the case.  Everyone seems to have picked up the slack now and I got rid of another boot load which was great.

For me de-cluttering and finding space in this little home is such an amazing feeling.  To know I will never have to move an item or clean something that I don't use is such freedom!  

I went through Henry's clothes, put some aside "just in case" there is another baby and donated a box as well.  His draws are full of space now - its lovely!  I went though the children's books and got rid of two bags full, William is up to reading small novels now so the space will be useful.  I like having a good selection of books for the boys to go through.  I think it is really important to be surrounded by good books!   I *may* have donated a bunch of books I dislike reading to them because I find them dull and boring.....but hopefully this will open their eyes to all of the beautiful books that were not getting a look in! 

There was a couple of pots that I don't use, there were toys, linen and assorted bits and bobs.  I also had a big stripy bag with fabric in it and another bag of stuff in the car waiting to go.  The load was not as big as I intended, but it was still a boot load.  I took it to the donation bin that very day when the boys were in the bath.

I realized we are getting down to the crux of what we really use.  There might be another bag of toys if I'm really ruthless.....But a lot of the mess was things like pencils/paper/board games etc.  So I gathered all the board games, found all the pieces and put them in a cupboard up high so the little ones cannot get to them to tip them out.  And same as the drawing stuff.  They only really need a little out at a time.  


I'm feeling better.  There is actually a fair bit of space on our shelves which is really great.  And If I were to donate all the clothes I have stored from the boys in various sizes our wardrobes would actually have a lot of room in them.

My little clear out triggered an interesting conversation with my parents.  They have just spent time with my niece who turned 6.  She was given many, many presents by family, friends, grandparents.  As children often are today.  Anyway her mother (my sister in law who is just gorgeous.) became very upset at her flippant, ungrateful behavior that developed after opening so many presents.  She got very cross at her and was very upset to see her attitude.

It is ugly when we see our children being bratty and ungrateful and quite frankly it is not fun parenting a child who acts ungrateful and spoilt.  

We often hear the older generation talk about today's generation being "ungrateful"  and they may well be right.  But it is OUR job as a society to not allow this to happen.  A child cannot help if they are given many, many things.  It is only natural that the gift giving process will loose some of its shine if it is over the top.  My niece is a lovely little girl, she usually has good manners.  Its just gifts were literally being thrown at her and it was too much, she was quite simply - over it.

It is our actions and decisions as Aunties/Uncles/parents and Grandparents that mold the next generation and instill in them the values we want them to have.  If we want our children to be grateful we need to give less to bring the magic and excitement back!  Gift giving in our house is now saved for birthdays and Christmases.  The amount we give is also very small.  This was not always the case.  I too have fallen into the trap of giving the boys too many gifts.  It is fun to see children's face light up!  But I have come to realize the less I give, the more they appreciate it.  The easier it is to teach gratitude, appreciation and it makes parenting a whole lot simpler.  It brings back the magic of gift giving, the joy and the fun for all of us.  And frankly anything that makes parenting easier is a good thing in my books!

I have come to realize the magic in birthdays and Christmas lies in the ANTICIPATION.  If we give constantly or excessively then this anticipation is lost and so is the magic.

Because I happen to love cake, I'll use this as the analogy.  A birthday or Christmas should be like a cake.  The bulk of the cake is made up of ingredients that are mixed together.  These 'ingredients" on such an occasion are having a few very special people close, perhaps having a favorite meal prepared and giving and receiving love by those closest in our lives, if religion is a corner stone in your life like it is mine then sharing the story of faith also plays a component.  A gift or two is simply the icing on the top!  It is a small part of the cake - delicious yes - but if there is too much icing, the cake becomes too sweet and its spoilt!  A cake is delicious only if it is balanced.   

I gave my little niece a home made library bag, an Enid Blyton short novel and a small set of Frozen doll magnets that you can "dress", she was very polite and happy.  The responsibility of raising a grateful, appreciative generation does not lie simply on the parents,  it is our societies responsibility.  No one is off the hook.     

xx

5 comments

  1. i think we have all been in that trap at some time. you are right, they don't appreciate the toys when they are given so many.
    great post
    thanx for sharing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its such a temptation isnt it? We love them so much we just want to see their happy faces and its so easy to mistake giving more as them being happier when it is in fact, often the opposite! It is a confusing old world.

      xx

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  2. I am in total agreement with the gift giving as well. We did fall into that trap as parents and our son is the one who is really paying for it. He has been learning the hard way that life does not just hand you stuff and you need to work for whatever it is you do want. He has a good heart just has a hard time with reality now. Hindsight is 20/20 . Oh if I could do it over.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh Krystal. (hugs) we can only ever do our best and your right hindsight is an amazing thing. Im sure there will be many things I wish I could change when my children are grown but we all do the best we can do at the time.

      Sometimes the hard lessons we learn in life are the ones that have the deepest impact on our lives. They are the ones that shape us the most and make us stronger. :) Best of luck to your son, I hope he finds his feet soon.

      xx

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    2. Thanks for the hugs. Gary and I are both pretty much at peace with the decisions and way we raised our son. We did the best we could with the knowledge we had. We can only hope that our son will make good choices for himself now. His choices are his own.

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