Bathroom progress.

After a period of flat out renovating I gotta say this weekend my patience was running thin from the constant dust, tools, mess and cleaning endless dust and dirt only for it to quickly return.  Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the ability of Grant to be able to do so much but sheesh - how I dream of living in a finished house!

Getting ready to tile the kitchen splashback.

But on the upside the bathroom is tiled and soon after a quick paint, and a few finishing jobs we will have a bath installed, we seriously cannot wait!  It has been nearly three years since we have been able to enjoy the luxury of soaking in a hot tub.

We have been busy ripping down an old termite ridden shed which meant for a lovely big bonfire on Saturday night.  (By "we" I mean Grant and the boys....I steer clear of such matters!) Which called for a chance to sit and watch the flames and enjoy a little glass of wine.

Back yard bonfire - country style!

Alas, Sunday my cabin fever really began to set in which called for a trip to the beach and fish and chips for an early dinner.....Read I totally lost my temper, packed up a basket with towels and a change of clothes and demanded we go o the beach RIGHT there and then.  So off we went, and with the cold crisp air, salt and sand a level of sanity was restored.

Is there anything more soul replenishing then being at the beach?!

Much love,
Emma
xx

Renovation progress!

Well its not finished yet, but we are in the new section!  The extension has totally changed the way we interact as a family.  It allows us to all be togeather whilst doing our own things.  The woodfire draws people into the kitchen/dine/lounge area, and the Little Old Cottage is no longer little!  We have not finished room shuffling yet, as Grant is working of some touch ups in the old master bedroom to get it ready for sale before we move the little two in.  But in the aim of always keeping it real I'll share our progress.  There is washing hanging and the photos are not curated.  But this is our family home.  This is us.

There is still plenty of work to be done.  Woodwork painted, kitchen kickers to go in, the wall on the left needs a little more plaster and then to be cleaned and painted.  There are skirting boards, door frames and window frames.  As well as doors to be hung!  The ensuite need to be fitted out too.  Lots of finishing jobs.  But this is where we are at in this point of time.

A school shirt waiting patiently for a button to be sewn on and clean washing drying and a basket ready to be put away.  Never ending with a house of mud-loving boys!

Winter time here means washing is hung inside next to the fire.

Aggie has claimed the footstool as you can see.  The winter sun shines on it and she loves it.

I don't have the heart to put my childhood teddy in a cupboard....So he continues to live on my bed.

This is the master bedroom and the room you see there is be the ensuite soon enough - what luxury! We are keeping the house simple, clean and uncluttered.  So when it comes to selling it, people will be able to see themselves in it.  As I sort through things I'm de-cluttering, always down seizing, a never ending process.  Well mostly a picture post today.  I have soup to cook and chocolate cake to bake!

Much love,
Emma
xx 

Self care and self worth.

Self care....We have all heard of the oxygen mask analogy right?  Put the oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on others?

Well in this season since my heart problems I have had to put myself first in a way I have never had to before.  It has been challenging.  It has been difficult to say "no", I have felt guilty, I have felt lazy, and the inner voice in my head has not always been kind.

The thing is, I LOOK well.  Mostly.  And when I feel crappy I pull up my socks, put on a smile and try to get on with it in public.  I have people give me all kinds of advice about needing to exercise to get my energy back, to health supplements (bee pollen anyone?), to people telling me I need to sleep less and its just my body clock messed up.  I gently tell them that my heart is infact weak and fatigued which means its working hard while I am simply at rest.  While on the inside I ache wondering if they think I'm "making it up", if they think I'm infact "lazy"

With the patritian wall down finally the table can be turned.  Now we can sit at the table AND open the fridge door!

For a while there I turned into a hermit, unable to manage much outside caring for myself and my family.  Today I'm pleased to say I'm on the mend - though not *quite* there yet, the good days are becoming more and more frequent.

But the lesson throughout it all remains with me.  I have been humbled.  I'm not invincible.  I can't do it all.  It takes more then will power to overcome some things.  Sometimes we need to strip everything back to the bare basics just to get through it.  Even then the task at hand can seem insurmountable.  I have been in tears from exhaustion at the never ending washing and the energy it took to fold it.  I have been utterly overwhelmed by a small list of necessary jobs needing to break them up into small blocks so I can rest between them.  I have felt like a failure again and again for not being able to manage even the smallest of tasks on a bad day.

The new kitchen/dine/lounge area finally opened up so you can feel and see the space.  

At times deep lonliness has filled my world.  My internal dialogue of self doubt dorwning out the logical knowledge that all my friends know I adore them, and just as I would want them to be at home and care for themselves if the tables had of been turned, that they would want the same for me.

My faith has taken a little battering.  Not that I have ever doubted Gods love and presence through this.  For I always think it is through the difficult times I see his love and grace the most, especially through the actions of those close to us supporting us.  But still its been hard.  It would be a lie if at times I had not felt really pissed off at God for things sometimes being so damn hard.  But I figure, God is big enough to handle that.

Laying the timber floating floors in the new master bedroom.

But as is often the case from hard things there is a deeper lesson throughout this which I have learned.  I have learned to back myself.  I have learned to quiet the inner voice of self doubt.  That doesn't mean it doesn't still exist - it does.  But instead I take the time to acknowledge it, breathe and re-centre myself with a variety of strategies.  Talking to the people who know me best, setting small achievable goals, celebrating the small successes, undertaking small rituals that fill my tank.  Listening to music, diffusing essential oils caring for my indoor pot plants are just a few.  Nothing ground breaking.  But for me it comes down to being conscious and pro-active about my inner "mean girl" if you will.

New wood fire.

So often our self worth comes from what we do.  I have had to leave work, defer study...No longer am I the theological student/chaplain/business partner/capable Mother.  But through being chronically unwell over the last 6 months I have come to realize I am "just Emma"  and actually, that is enough in itself.  Our value does not come from what we manage to successfully achieve, but it is instead something we each poses as part of who we each are and how we were created.  If we are unable to do those things, for what ever reason it does not mean we suddenly become "less".  Those things are not our whole identity.  They are simply the practical way we out work who we are at the core of our being, when we are able too.

The lighting of the first wood fire in the new slow combustion wood heater.

This has been a timely lesson.  As we face the prospect of a big life change, possibly moving interstate, living in a bus while we self build an off grid home....Well we are going to face push back.  In fact we already have.  Which is not necessarily a bad thing.  It means when someone pushes back and we find it uncomfortable we are forced to re-evaluate our goals.  We will either be swayed to a different path because they made good and valid points, or we will come back with a stronger plan and more resolve to forge ahead.  Who we are and what we are capable of doesn't change because of someone else's doubt.

Much Love,
Emma
xx

school holiday bliss!

My goodness I love school holidays. 

No schedule to follow, free learning, wonderful, slow coffee dates with friends where the kids run wild. 

This is the life! 

We are off to a bush garden this morning, and then to a local café for lunch I'm told I will just love.  I saw dumplings on their photo - so I'm quite sure I will love it too.  It is an utterly prefect day for it!  The sun is shining, the air is crisp and cold. 

Ronnie loves to come for a run.

It makes me want to homeschool when times are like this.  We have been doing holidays projects and working on areas which the boys are a little behind in.  They are so enthusiastic and keen to learn.  Sounds are being practiced, and confidence grown. 

The kitchen is coming along quickly now! I love this part.  Today we started to move back into the kitchen after being in the caravan for about 7 weeks.  I already have more bench space in this little corner then I have for the entire time I lived here with the old kitchen.  It's AMAZING!  My fridge is actually in the same room as the kitchen now, as it was under the porch.  There is room to cook, to prep, to just be togeather.

Soon there will be the oven fitted and the pantry fitted also, then come top cupboards and tiles.  It's such a pleasure to cook while the fire in the wood oven crackles and pops away.

This little old cottage is slowly being transformed.  With love, effort, time and patience.

There has been much going on here, I will have to catch the blog up once school holidays are over.  But in the meantime we are still here, enjoying the time togeather.

Much love,
Emma
Xx

Before, during and after; Lounge renos!

I thought it would be fun to do a snap shot of our lounge before, during and after.  It still needs its skirting boards, my photo wall hung and a few finishing touches, but it is certainly getting there.

To remind those who are new to this blog, this is what it was like when we bought it....

The boys chiping back the old, salt damp damaged plaster  which they treated later.

Applying the brown coat.

The fire place needs its tiles grouted, and blackened, and the flue repairing.  We keeping an eye out for second hand/salvage parts on our gumtree trawling.

My beautiful painting "two hands" by my artist friend Elizabeth Close takes pride of place above the fire!

That blank wall is screaming out for all my family photos.  

The ceilings are huge in this place - I need to add a panel to the of the curtains so the sheer is the right length.  We tend to put a simple roller blind behind and hang a simple white sheer in front.  I like the light and airy effect it gives, and it has the advantage of making the most of the whole window, allowing in maximum light which can be lacking in old homes.  It's also a frugal option, so a winner all round.  

The blind was about $45, the sheer was $30 and we already had the pole to hang it.  I will lengthen the white sheer with contrasting material from my stash.  We were advised by Williams Dr to keep all window furnishings as simple as possible to minimise dust for his allergies.  This way the blind can easily be wiped down and the sheer is cotton and machine washable, unlike traditional rubber backed curtains. Which if anyone has ever tried to wash them, you know what I'm talking about! 

To get this room stripped back, salt damp treated, walls re-plastered, painted and floor laid by trades would have cost many thousands, but by doing it ourselves we managed to keep the cost down to approx $1000.  This figure doesn't include the split system air conditioning that will be installed once we upgrade the power as its not in yet.  We have budgeted about $1800 for that.  We will buy it in winter and try to find a good special.  Well worth the time and effort.  

We are going to spend some time in our garden now, fixing sheds, the chook yard and the fences, and we have a bunch of new heratige chooks, and a friendly rooster on their way from friends that are moving interstate at the end of the week! 

So our current rooster will be dispatched for stock this week.  

It's lovely to take a break from the dust and the grit of renovating for a few weeks and trade it for the mud, dirt and straw of the garden! Ha! 

Much love, 

Emma 

Xx

Life in the little old cottage.

William is doing well, thank you for the well wishes, still sore of course so quiet home days are on the agenda this week, I ended up with gastro whilst in hospital trying to care for him, and little Gus had it at home with Grant, so it has been a long week for us all.  

Its 40+ degrees here, a tree change to Tassie is looking good!  Though its good for William to sit and have movie fests and rest, the house is closed up, air con on and we are chilling out.  

We have our split system booked to come in end of January beginning of February.  We need to do a bit of re-wiring to support it and have booked in the local sparky to do it.  In the mean time we bought a wall air conditioner and popped it in the window for now so the main house is at least a comfortable temperature.  The air conditioner will end up in the back half of the extension later on.  Its half the price of a second split system and seemed like a good compromise.

Gosh I love air conditioning.  Really what an amazing invention.  This old house does stay cool-ish for a few days but after about 3 days of 40+ degrees its anything bit cool.  It was possible to stay kind of comfortable though, undies, fans, wet flannels draped on us, which is how they would have done it in the old days.  I'm happy to take the modern convenience of air conditioning though.  We are all far less irritable.

I'm afraid I don't have any "pretty" photos of the new room, we started to unpack things from our shed to bring into the cottage and its all coated in ash.  Its going to take days of brushing off, dusting down and wiping clean bit by bit to bring it in.  Its a bit heart breaking if I'm honest and am feeling a little flat.  

But each time I bring something in I love I feel a little more at home here.  The boys were happy to see some more of their toys, today I hope to clean and unpack some of their books as we potter about here.  I am happy to see my rocking chair! (Such a Nanna I know...)

The fire place needs blackening still, and the tiles need to be put in as they are just sitting there.  

There are curtains to hang, the rug to bring in, pictures to hang, bits and bobs to do, but the room is mostly done, it just needs its touches of home to be brought in.

Today I thought I might list 5 things I'm thankful for.  To try and focus on the positives that are around me, when things are seeming difficult.

- I'm grateful for modern medicine, a safe procedure and William to be recovering well, and pain relief.

- air-conditioning - need I say more?!

- The man who paid for my car park ticket.  I was at the ticket machine having just left hospital with Will and all our things both feeling quite miserable, him post op, me nauseous and weak facing a 1.5hour drive home and I realized the ticket machine only accepted credit cards or pay wave.  Neither of which I have.  I nearly burst into tears as I realized I would have to trudge us both back inside the hospital, to find eftpos to remove cash to pay the $20 ticket fee.  The man kindly, without hesitation took one look at us and paid our ticket.  That was an angel right there.  I thanked him profusely, I would have given him a giant hug except I figured if I passed on gastro to him it may just be the last good deed he ever did.   ;)

- Snuggles from my boys, as they all piled into bed this morning to snuggle with their Mama my heart grew full as I breathed their sweetness in.   This is why we are working so hard, for these little guys.

- Modern appliances.  My vacuum and washing machine have cleaned up more ash then I ever thought possible.  In times like this I think about the women of the old days.  Doing it all by hand.  I'm grateful to be able to have the choice.  The best thing is this choice gives me the ability to switch off to a degree, I get to throw in dirty things and they come out fresh without me having to re-address them at every stage.  This makes a difficult process a little easier.  A little more gentle.  For that I am grateful.

Much love,
Emma
xx