Those that have been reading a while, may know that I struggled with PND in the past, after our third babe was born. A combination of a prolonged recovery after a c-section and a sweet babe with terrible reflux which left him with a burnt, raspy little voice were the precursors to this. Henry was only able to sleep for an hour at a time, very occasionally two for the first year of his life due to pain and discomfort. Throw in no family near by, two other small children needing their Mama, owning our own business and a husband working long days.....well really it was inevitable. There is only so much fuel in a persons tank.
Let me preface this post by saying I am quite well these days, and the darkness that hung over me like a stormy cloud after Henry’s birth has well and truly lifted. But I believe the discussion around depression and mental health should be an ordinary one. Something we talk about freely and openly. It's not something that should be talked about it in hushed tones, nor hidden away. It should be part of the modern day narrative, as we discuss health and well being. We need to be educated and sensitive in a way which allows us to step into the trenches alongside those struggling with depression. To help lift them up and fight away the darkness with them. To empower them to seek help, to remind them it is not their fault but that it’s a physiological condition.
I'm no longer on medication for depression, and mostly the sun very much shines in my life. But like someone with a bad knee may experience aches and pains which slow them up, I’m still prone to bouts of anxiety and mild depression. Something I share with 1 in 4 Australians. Everyone experiences anxiety to a degree, and certainly it can be a useful emotion and kick us into much needed action. But in excess? It can make us feel paralyzed and worthless. Incapable of doing anything much which we feel that is of any use to anyone else, let alone ourselves. Even when we may know logically this is not true, anxiety can be insidious and utterly over whelming.
For me, living a slow and conscious life helps immensely.
Knowing the actions and things I undertake matter, that they have a value attached to them for the well being of our family. The action of taking the time to find purpose in the small and often repetitive tasks of mothering. There is power in that.
There is something about the slow and deliberate action of creating which gently untangles the knot of worries that sometimes find a home in my chest. The chaotic noise that can fill my brain to the point that I feel like on a bad day, I feel I may actually burst.
Ritual helps. To turn on calming music which drowns out the unhelpful probing thoughts, to tinker with my essential oils and turn on my diffuser. These simple activities remind me to be present, that I am in control, that the actions I choose to undertake can be more powerful then the mess of thoughts.
And to create.
To pick up a task that requires me to have busy hands. Hand sewing, baking, gardening, writing. As my hands undertake the often repetitive movements of the activity in front of me, the knot slowly unravels, my thoughts untangling in the process. Slowing to match the rhythmic movement of my hands. Soon enough the voice of logic is louder then the voice of anxiety. I find my center and I begin to feel more like my usual self.
For me if I litter the day with small, mindful rituals I remain on an even keel. Poaching my two home grown eggs in the morning while my coffee brews, making sourdough, a simple but nourishing tradition generations upon generations have undertaken prior. I often think of those before me as I carefully tend my loaf. Wondering if like, me they have loaves that mysteriously fail despite doing the same thing as usual, or if they got a perfect loaf every time. I imagine younger people might experience more frustration and baking failures, then as they grow older these activities gradually become intuitive. An extension of themselves. Patience, timing, rhythm...merging into a beautiful part of who they are at their very core.
I also like to spend time in prayer - or meditation if prayer is not your thing. Just the simple act of taking time to acknowledge thoughts in stillness can be deeply helpful. For me, sewing and writing are really the two big tickets in unraveling the tangle of anxiety when it begins to make a nest in my mind. During these windows of time is when I most feel like “me”. These activities resonate to the very core of who I am. When undertaking these tasks I take the time to breathe slowly, to remember that of which I value. I take the time to be thankful and look for all the beauty in life. For it is always there, even if we have to dig a little. Even in the darkness.
Gardening, cooking, sewing, painting, writing, knitting, crocheting, building....all these tasks are creative. The list is endless. What don't need to be Pintrest worthy, nor even end in a tangible item at the end. Simply the process of using our hands in a way in which helps us to be mindful is the goal.
I wonder what value and worth others find their creative pursuits bring into their lives?
If you are struggling with your mental health, I urge you to seek help. There is SO much help out there and its OK not to be OK. Beyond Blue are just one Australian organisation that can offer a wealth of information and support.
Much love,
Emma
Xx
Let me preface this post by saying I am quite well these days, and the darkness that hung over me like a stormy cloud after Henry’s birth has well and truly lifted. But I believe the discussion around depression and mental health should be an ordinary one. Something we talk about freely and openly. It's not something that should be talked about it in hushed tones, nor hidden away. It should be part of the modern day narrative, as we discuss health and well being. We need to be educated and sensitive in a way which allows us to step into the trenches alongside those struggling with depression. To help lift them up and fight away the darkness with them. To empower them to seek help, to remind them it is not their fault but that it’s a physiological condition.
I'm no longer on medication for depression, and mostly the sun very much shines in my life. But like someone with a bad knee may experience aches and pains which slow them up, I’m still prone to bouts of anxiety and mild depression. Something I share with 1 in 4 Australians. Everyone experiences anxiety to a degree, and certainly it can be a useful emotion and kick us into much needed action. But in excess? It can make us feel paralyzed and worthless. Incapable of doing anything much which we feel that is of any use to anyone else, let alone ourselves. Even when we may know logically this is not true, anxiety can be insidious and utterly over whelming.
For me, living a slow and conscious life helps immensely.
Knowing the actions and things I undertake matter, that they have a value attached to them for the well being of our family. The action of taking the time to find purpose in the small and often repetitive tasks of mothering. There is power in that.
There is something about the slow and deliberate action of creating which gently untangles the knot of worries that sometimes find a home in my chest. The chaotic noise that can fill my brain to the point that I feel like on a bad day, I feel I may actually burst.
Ritual helps. To turn on calming music which drowns out the unhelpful probing thoughts, to tinker with my essential oils and turn on my diffuser. These simple activities remind me to be present, that I am in control, that the actions I choose to undertake can be more powerful then the mess of thoughts.
And to create.
To pick up a task that requires me to have busy hands. Hand sewing, baking, gardening, writing. As my hands undertake the often repetitive movements of the activity in front of me, the knot slowly unravels, my thoughts untangling in the process. Slowing to match the rhythmic movement of my hands. Soon enough the voice of logic is louder then the voice of anxiety. I find my center and I begin to feel more like my usual self.
For me if I litter the day with small, mindful rituals I remain on an even keel. Poaching my two home grown eggs in the morning while my coffee brews, making sourdough, a simple but nourishing tradition generations upon generations have undertaken prior. I often think of those before me as I carefully tend my loaf. Wondering if like, me they have loaves that mysteriously fail despite doing the same thing as usual, or if they got a perfect loaf every time. I imagine younger people might experience more frustration and baking failures, then as they grow older these activities gradually become intuitive. An extension of themselves. Patience, timing, rhythm...merging into a beautiful part of who they are at their very core.
I also like to spend time in prayer - or meditation if prayer is not your thing. Just the simple act of taking time to acknowledge thoughts in stillness can be deeply helpful. For me, sewing and writing are really the two big tickets in unraveling the tangle of anxiety when it begins to make a nest in my mind. During these windows of time is when I most feel like “me”. These activities resonate to the very core of who I am. When undertaking these tasks I take the time to breathe slowly, to remember that of which I value. I take the time to be thankful and look for all the beauty in life. For it is always there, even if we have to dig a little. Even in the darkness.
Gardening, cooking, sewing, painting, writing, knitting, crocheting, building....all these tasks are creative. The list is endless. What don't need to be Pintrest worthy, nor even end in a tangible item at the end. Simply the process of using our hands in a way in which helps us to be mindful is the goal.
I wonder what value and worth others find their creative pursuits bring into their lives?
If you are struggling with your mental health, I urge you to seek help. There is SO much help out there and its OK not to be OK. Beyond Blue are just one Australian organisation that can offer a wealth of information and support.
Much love,
Emma
Xx
