Recently I blogged about the the power of egg custard, and how by making it from scratch triggered me to question what we were eating and how I could make other simple changes to our lives.
But whilst that was the first real "step" if you will into living a simpler, slower and greener life, I was already onto the path of questioning.
You see, in December 2011, a serious flood came through our home which deemed our house inhabitable and where we lost nearly all our possessions. At the lowest point of our home the muddy, septic filled water was 1.5m high. William was 3 at the time and I was 34 weeks pregnant with our second child.
We were left displaced, with only a few boxes of our most precious belongings and a couple of suitcases of clothes.
By the grace of God our friends and families rallied around us to pick us up and dust us off, we found a nice rental home to move into whilst we sorted out our lives and welcomed our second son, Angus into the world.
I worked like a mad woman to create a "home" for our family. I was like a pregnant, nesting woman on steroids. I re-bought all the things we had lost, and upgraded things into better quality where I could. I thought once I had made our home lovely, and got the nice bedroom suite that eventually a sense of "enough" would settle upon me, contentment. Something. I thought that when everything looked "normal" the experience of the flood would be behind us. That the gaping hole I was trying to fill would eventually become full. I bought more, new clothes for us all, new toys. But still the empty feeling in my chest remained. I knew we were lucky, we had a beautiful family, we had a warm, safe and comfortable home to live in, we had almost adequate insurance. I can't tell you how many people said they wanted to be in our situation because they would love to buy all new stuff. (just a hint, don't say that to someone who has lost everything. It's not at all helpful.)
Until one day it dawned on me....If I couldn't be happy without these things, I would never be happy with them. Because things can never bring us the kind of happiness that lasts.
I realized I wasn't going to fill the hole I felt by creating a beautiful home out of the lovely things I was buying. That stuff wasn't going to give me the deep comforting feeling of "home" I was so desperately looking for. It wasn't going to erase the unsettling realization I had little control over the big things in life. Mother nature would do what mother nature does, storms will happen. Both metaphorically and in real life. I had no control over the flood just as I had no control over the virus that attacked my heart late last year. When it comes to what truly matters, control is an illusion.
Once I realized this....I was left looking, searching for more. I stumbled across a blog about living simply, and through it I discovered other blogs and books. Through them all I learnt about slow living, mindfulness, minimalism, sewing, gardening. I discovered beauty in the things I had right in front of me. I took the bits and pieces that resonated with me and slowly weaved them together to forged my own path. A path that continues to grow, change and evolve today. I re-discovered a faith I had put to the side many years ago as I wasn't given the theological foundations for it to grow with me and I nurtured it. I loved being at home with my children and realized when I challenged myself to continue to grow that being at home was not at all dull, nor boring. Shopping was boring, consuming mindlessly was boring. But being at home could be challenging, interesting and deeply fulfilling, and after much consideration I made the leap to do it full time. Something that I do not always feel the outside world sees as a valuable choice when a person leaves their career to stay at home. (I also recognize that being able to stay at home is a privilege, and not a choice that is an option for everyone, nor a choice everyone wishes to make.)
In staying at home I learned to improve my cooking skills, I learned to make soaps, I became better with our finances, I learned to garden and grow food, I learned to sew, I became more aware about environmental issues and the things I could do in my own life to live greener. I re-discovered a love of writing which I have channeled into this blog. I started my BA Theology, and who knows where that will take me.
But most importantly, through living more simply, slowly and mindfully I learned to take notice of the beauty that was in front of me. To truly see it. I realized the power of thankfulness, of gratefulness and of contentment. I saw the importance of being fully present. Slowly the empty, hollow feeling in my chest began to fill up.
I have been blessed to find deep and authentic friendships, both old and new. I love that I have the time to open up my home, and have people come for a cuppa or gather around the table for pizza, it is such a beautiful thing. People are meant to be in relationships with each other, we are not meant to do this things called life alone. Yet when we are too busy, when life is constantly rushed and frantic we simply can't. We find all our time is spent paddling madly to just stay afloat.
When we are living at a frantic pace we often consume more. We don't realize that when we are shopping we are not just buying an item, but we are instead trying to buy the life we want to be living. Weather it be shiny and expensive, or that we want to be sitting around a table with our friends in a warm and inviting home. The meaning is not in the items, it never has been. The meaning in the living.
At some point we need to stop buying the recipe books, and the dinnerware for the lovely dinner parties we are going to have "one day" and actually open our doors and invite the people in. Until then the stuff we so lovingly collect is meaningless, and the hollow feeling will remain. Once we start to actually do the things we say we value, that is when the gap between the lives we are living and the lives we want to be living will begin to narrow.
The power is in the doing. My encouragement today is to look at something you want to be doing, even if it is small, consciously carve out a space to nurture it and to take a step towards it, even just a little shuffle. Just one step, and tomorrow? Take another.
Much love,
Emma
xx
But whilst that was the first real "step" if you will into living a simpler, slower and greener life, I was already onto the path of questioning.
You see, in December 2011, a serious flood came through our home which deemed our house inhabitable and where we lost nearly all our possessions. At the lowest point of our home the muddy, septic filled water was 1.5m high. William was 3 at the time and I was 34 weeks pregnant with our second child.
We were left displaced, with only a few boxes of our most precious belongings and a couple of suitcases of clothes.
By the grace of God our friends and families rallied around us to pick us up and dust us off, we found a nice rental home to move into whilst we sorted out our lives and welcomed our second son, Angus into the world.
(photo credits this post go to Will.)
I worked like a mad woman to create a "home" for our family. I was like a pregnant, nesting woman on steroids. I re-bought all the things we had lost, and upgraded things into better quality where I could. I thought once I had made our home lovely, and got the nice bedroom suite that eventually a sense of "enough" would settle upon me, contentment. Something. I thought that when everything looked "normal" the experience of the flood would be behind us. That the gaping hole I was trying to fill would eventually become full. I bought more, new clothes for us all, new toys. But still the empty feeling in my chest remained. I knew we were lucky, we had a beautiful family, we had a warm, safe and comfortable home to live in, we had almost adequate insurance. I can't tell you how many people said they wanted to be in our situation because they would love to buy all new stuff. (just a hint, don't say that to someone who has lost everything. It's not at all helpful.)
Until one day it dawned on me....If I couldn't be happy without these things, I would never be happy with them. Because things can never bring us the kind of happiness that lasts.
I realized I wasn't going to fill the hole I felt by creating a beautiful home out of the lovely things I was buying. That stuff wasn't going to give me the deep comforting feeling of "home" I was so desperately looking for. It wasn't going to erase the unsettling realization I had little control over the big things in life. Mother nature would do what mother nature does, storms will happen. Both metaphorically and in real life. I had no control over the flood just as I had no control over the virus that attacked my heart late last year. When it comes to what truly matters, control is an illusion.
Once I realized this....I was left looking, searching for more. I stumbled across a blog about living simply, and through it I discovered other blogs and books. Through them all I learnt about slow living, mindfulness, minimalism, sewing, gardening. I discovered beauty in the things I had right in front of me. I took the bits and pieces that resonated with me and slowly weaved them together to forged my own path. A path that continues to grow, change and evolve today. I re-discovered a faith I had put to the side many years ago as I wasn't given the theological foundations for it to grow with me and I nurtured it. I loved being at home with my children and realized when I challenged myself to continue to grow that being at home was not at all dull, nor boring. Shopping was boring, consuming mindlessly was boring. But being at home could be challenging, interesting and deeply fulfilling, and after much consideration I made the leap to do it full time. Something that I do not always feel the outside world sees as a valuable choice when a person leaves their career to stay at home. (I also recognize that being able to stay at home is a privilege, and not a choice that is an option for everyone, nor a choice everyone wishes to make.)
In staying at home I learned to improve my cooking skills, I learned to make soaps, I became better with our finances, I learned to garden and grow food, I learned to sew, I became more aware about environmental issues and the things I could do in my own life to live greener. I re-discovered a love of writing which I have channeled into this blog. I started my BA Theology, and who knows where that will take me.
But most importantly, through living more simply, slowly and mindfully I learned to take notice of the beauty that was in front of me. To truly see it. I realized the power of thankfulness, of gratefulness and of contentment. I saw the importance of being fully present. Slowly the empty, hollow feeling in my chest began to fill up.
I have been blessed to find deep and authentic friendships, both old and new. I love that I have the time to open up my home, and have people come for a cuppa or gather around the table for pizza, it is such a beautiful thing. People are meant to be in relationships with each other, we are not meant to do this things called life alone. Yet when we are too busy, when life is constantly rushed and frantic we simply can't. We find all our time is spent paddling madly to just stay afloat.
When we are living at a frantic pace we often consume more. We don't realize that when we are shopping we are not just buying an item, but we are instead trying to buy the life we want to be living. Weather it be shiny and expensive, or that we want to be sitting around a table with our friends in a warm and inviting home. The meaning is not in the items, it never has been. The meaning in the living.
At some point we need to stop buying the recipe books, and the dinnerware for the lovely dinner parties we are going to have "one day" and actually open our doors and invite the people in. Until then the stuff we so lovingly collect is meaningless, and the hollow feeling will remain. Once we start to actually do the things we say we value, that is when the gap between the lives we are living and the lives we want to be living will begin to narrow.
The power is in the doing. My encouragement today is to look at something you want to be doing, even if it is small, consciously carve out a space to nurture it and to take a step towards it, even just a little shuffle. Just one step, and tomorrow? Take another.
Much love,
Emma
xx
