Finding our rhythem....

Gosh I don't even know how to describe the last few days.  

We are surrounded by so much heartache and loss.  But we are completely amazed by our district and community rallying to support each other.  I cannot believe the support of friends and family, they have truly raised us up and taken us under their wing.  I can't begin to thank them enough.  They completely ignored me when I said "I'm fine, don't worry, please don't bother yourselves." And in hindsight, I'm incredibly grateful they did.  I wasn't fine, they saw straight through my tough facade.  I don't know how we got so lucky to have so many amazing, beautiful people around us, truly I don't.  But I'm forever blessed them in my life.  

Today, a dear artist friend of mine surprised me with this beautiful painting.  I totally and completely love it, and it's story brought me to tears.  I'm incredibly humbled and touched.  It's called "two hands"  and this is the story of it. 

"Two Hands" acrylic on canvas 60cm x 60cm

This piece is for a dear friend of mine and as such will not be for sale.

The concept is this: we are all (or most of us) born with two hands

What we choose to do with those two hands are up to us.
You can choose to be greedy, selfish, self absorbed and use your hands to that end
You can be hungry for power or money - and use your hand to get you there.
You can be harmful, and use your hands to harm and hurt.
Or, like my dear friend, you can use your hands to do good. To spread love and kindness.
So in this spirit - I used my hands, and only my hands, to create this work.
No brushes. No bottles. No spray cans. Just my two hands.
My two hands.

You can explore her artwork here, she is a beautiful woman, artist and advocate for her people. Elizabeth Close - Aboriginal Artist

We have been in-undated with seriously AMAZING home cooked foods.  We have been feasting on home made lasagnas, home made sausage rolls, delicious pasta's, baked goods, little Portuguese meat pastie things, (AKA Portuguese tasty bits as Grant lovingly refers to them.) lemon meringue pie.  The list goes on. We have been spoilt and they all happen to be Grants favorite foods so the man is in his element!!  Along with fresh bread, fresh fruit, chocolate and goodness knows what else. All from dear friends rallying to look after us, to provide us a break while we find our feet after the chaos that was the Pinery fires.

I tried to insist "we are fine, it's OK" but there was no holding them back.  They cooked, cleaned, played with our boys while I walked around in a daze trying to sort out what I could, but I suspect really acting like a bit of a vague dud.  They were so polite no one even batted an eye lid at my occasionally dopey comments.  Grants been madly busy trying to get the shop back in order, I have said it before but Ill say it again.  That man is AMAZING.

I'm not going to lie, Its not been easy.  I have been really struggling with flashbacks of burned, suffering livestock, houses on fire, cars on fire, coals and burning embers flying across the road hitting the car.  The fire, the smoke, the ash.  The smell.  Oh my goodness the smell.  It's been haunting me. 

This photo is a heartbreaking professional shot of the fires....Mother Nature is an awe provoking power.

Just to add insult to injury the district had a huge dust storm.  It was so bad roads had to be closed.  The districts entire top soil became airborne I think and half of it re-located in my house......Darn louver windows!  But they do let in an amazing cross wind so you know, cant be helped.  I'm sure cleaning the dust and ash will become part of a daily rhythm from now until Autumn when it rains and the grounds begin to heal.  I'm grateful to have a home to clean when so many around me no longer do.  So Ill take the dust and get on with it and give thanks when I need to clean it up.      

This was the dust storm before it before it got really bad.....

The boys have been struggling with wheezy chests.  I bought a little cold air humidifier to try and get a little moisture back in the air, especially at night, I think it helps.  I love that I can put in essential oils to help clear their chests, but also to help bring in some relaxation.   

It has felt a little like one thing after another to be battling health issues now.

But gently does it......

"Go gently" is one of my favorite sayings I got it years ago from my favorite south South African Dr.  She would always say "go well"  or "go gently".  I think there is something so nurturing and loving about it, yet practical.   

Sewing has been hugely therapeutic.  For me sewing is a time of contemplation, of sorting jumbled thoughts, of prayer and mindfulness.  I spent an afternoon sewing on Monday.  It was beyond lovely.  I felt like my soul slowly began to rest, my worries eased and I tuned into the soothing actions of cutting, pinning and the rhythmic hum of the machine.    

I also managed to spend some time in town today as I tended school/kindy/school visits for Angus.  It was lovely to sit and have a coffee and pick up a few things we need.  Normally spending time in town shopping is something I avoid, but today the clean, shiny things were a nice distraction among the soot, ash and charred landscape which has become the country surrounding our home.

So we are going gently, I'm finding pleasure in watering my little herbs which are doing surprisingly well once the ash was rinsed off, and the flowers around the house.  Once the two front rooms are finished I think we might focus on the garden a bit.  The cool, green might be just what we need.  

Today I can feel the healing beginning to take place in my soul, the shock wearing off.

Much love,
Em
xx 

A few days later...

Well it has been a hectic few days, running on adrenaline, coffee and the well wishes of friends and family.

Day 3 post fire and today we are knackered. 

But, we have been raised up, looked after, supported and assisted by friends and family.  We are lucky, and have been increadably humbled and blessed.

Our friends and family have helped us look after the boys, clean the shop, clean the house and work through the mountain of ash covered clothing.  Life will start to return to normal now for our family. Sadly not for many around us.  

The stories if the community are being told, they are devastating, and heartbreaking.  Stories of homes lost, mates lost, days spent shooting hundreds and thousands of livestock, animals, beloved animals that people tried but couldn't save.  It was just so fast.  

William is struggling to process all he saw and heard.  He had a huge melt down today, just screaming saying how angry he was, thrashing about.  I get it little buddy, I get it.  Once he calmed down we hugged and talked and hugged some more and he lay quietly resting in my arms.  Angus and Henry are ok.  Tired, but ok.  It will pass.  Love heals.  Gods got him, Gods got us. 

Much love, 

Em

Xx

Pinery fires.....

What a horrific day.  Thank God we are safe.  

I don't even know how to articulate this but I'm going to try.  We are drained, running on empty.  

Yesterday a fire started from a hay stack spontaneously combusting in a town not far from us, called Pinery.  It then travelled at horrific speed accross the district with 80+km/hr winds.  

We checked the CFS updates constantly and it was predicted to miss our town, to travel a way in front of it.  

I don't know what happened, the wind changed, the weather was worse.  What ever.  But it hit us.  

Grant checked the reports and it seemed safe to drive to pick up the boys, but the fire became out of control and as he was driving, the fire surrounded him, jumping all over the place.  Thank God there was a water bomber that cleared the road enough for them to pass through.  The smoke was thick and black, there was debris in the air.  There was confusion and Grant was in a car accident.  The car is a mess but it kept him safe.  Fortunately he was ok, the car held out just long enough and he managed to get to safety while the fire front passed.  

At this same time the sky in Hamley grew pitch black, filled with rancid smoke, ash and embers.  I was utterly terrified.  I grabbed Henry, grabbed the dogs, loaded them into the little car and drove to the local oval which was a safe zone.  

The smoke had cleared by this stage quite a bit....

Fire burned in plain view, perhaps 50m away.  I was terrified it was not safe enough, terrified Grant was not safe.  My baby was with me and I could do nothing more to protect us.  

Phone reception was out, Internet was out.  We waited there for what felt like eternity, but I guess was a couple of hours.  

The fire past.  Houses near us were lost, lives were lost.  

Grant got a ride into town, we checked out our house.  It is intact, but filled with soot and ash.  Power is out, water is out.  We have a generator we can use, we will buy water and we are going back in tonight with family to begin the clean up.  

Thank god my Grant came home to us.  By the grace of God, and by our amazing emergency services he did.  Not everyone was so fortunate.  There are many houses lost, vehicles burnt on the side of the road, burning trees, injured animals.  It looks like a war zone. 

But we are safe, our community is rallying.  As only rural communities can.  Our friends and family are looking after us, the boys, supporting us, praying for us.  We are indeed blessed.  We are safe. 

Much love, 

Em

Xx