My goodness the last few weeks has been such a roller coaster. Starting a new job, realizing that because it is ministry community work it has the risk of overflowing into all areas of my life. But also loving the organic nature and flexibility of work hours.
I am busy, I am tired but my heart is just so full.
The almond trees are flowering, so pretty. Little Puss has decided she likes to sleep in the napkin basket.
Study, oh my goodness my brain hurts. I find myself falling asleep in piles of books, notes, cats curled up with me and the laptop on my lap. These people are so smart. Everyone seems to be able to debate and think so fast. There is only about 8-11 students internally, the class is so small, there is no where to hide! Apparently it is quite a good sized class (about 35 in total, some external) for a theology subject. Though coming from a nursing background it feels tiny. The lecturer is fascinating. She has such a huge knowledge, and very warm and friendly. I quite like her, though am a little intimidated I must say! I realized going back to uni to study starting with my weakest subject, Old Testament, was not necessarily the best thought out plan I have ever had. But no doubt it will be interesting!
But I am happy just bumbling my way through. I seem to find myself bumbling and tumbling my way through all of life, so I have embraced that it is just my way. I'm sure a rhythm will appear in time. The sooner the better though. I have not yet mastered synching my phone diary with my personal diary. I'm a visual person and struggle to keep track when things are all digital. I prefer paper books and diary's with pages. Though I am slowly learning. (I swear I was born in the wrong era!)
I managed to squeeze in some time to finally finish sewing my nephews Waldorf doll. He loves green, and Super Hero's. His clothing is made from Marvel fabric, and he is made of cotton tricott, wool hair and he is stuffed with pure wool.
You know the imagery of the graceful calm duck swimming in the pond? That the duck looks lovely and calm on the surface but its legs are madly paddling underneath? Well......That's not me. I'm more like the duck that splashing about like a mad thing, ha!
The other day I woke up knackered, I looked at my diary, it was clear for the morning though I had Uni in the afternoon.. I decided I was stay home and do some research/emails/paperwork for my job. So I had a bit of a lazy morning, knowing I didn't have to physically face anyone. Instead of getting showered and dressed, I pulled on a hoodie over the old daggy trackies and plain cotton top I slept in, threw on my black walkers and rolled out the door.
At this point something felt "off". I rechecked my diary, all was good. Shrugged it off as paranoia. I loaded everyone in the car, coffee in hand and drove the 30 mins to school and childcare.
Dropped everyone off, on time, all good. Thought I would nip in to Foodland grab a few fresh groceries and put a simple casserole in the slow cooker, ready for the boys when they came home for dinner. I was feeling quite content while thinking I was rocking the work life balance thing that morning.
Then my phone beeped....It was a reminder for a meeting I had in 45mins. It was a 1hr trip if I was to try and swing past my house to grab my work stuff and try and look even remotely presentable. AKA not looking like I had just rolled out of bed. Which I had....oops.
I rang my boss hopefully, thinking maybe I had programmed my phone wrong. Nope. As a small expletive slipped out of my mouth, I jumped into the car completely mortified. RAN into Big W, grabbed a note book, pen, and loose casual comfy pants I knew I would wear again and again. I was legit in and out in about 7 minutes. Rummaged through the mountain of things sitting in my car, I have been meaning to sort through, found my favourite scarf I had misplaced, pulled off my hoodie as the top underneath was just a plain cotton top, tied up my hair, threw on some deodorant, rummaged through my "spares" bag, found some wipes I keep in the car to freshen up, pulled off my fluffy socks so I was wearing my plain black walkers, realized I had to change my pants in the car in the Big W underground car park, I was just praying no one would walk past at that very moment. I got to the meeting, looking almost presentable, and almost on time.....Thankfully it all went well. Chaos I tell you, Chaos!
This afternoon I thought it would be nice to take some photos of the garden, pick some flowers for the table while the boys played......I wandered around the garden, snapping some lovely photos, trying to relax and be present. The reality was, when I went to upload them here I realized I left the memory card out of the camera, which means none of the photos were saved, the kids fought like cat and dog, screaming blue murder at each other the entire afternoon. So I gave up, wandered back inside, where it was quieter, poured myself a glass of wine, pulled up the rocking chair in front of the wood oven and chilled out while dinner cooked.
But as I bumble though these days, things are good, there are simple moments scattered throughout the chaos, slow moments of togetherness. We are so very blessed, my heart is full. It is so important to be able to laugh at your self rather then fret and worry. I have peace that I will find my feet soon enough and I am meeting some beautiful people on the way.
I am busy, I am tired but my heart is just so full.
Study, oh my goodness my brain hurts. I find myself falling asleep in piles of books, notes, cats curled up with me and the laptop on my lap. These people are so smart. Everyone seems to be able to debate and think so fast. There is only about 8-11 students internally, the class is so small, there is no where to hide! Apparently it is quite a good sized class (about 35 in total, some external) for a theology subject. Though coming from a nursing background it feels tiny. The lecturer is fascinating. She has such a huge knowledge, and very warm and friendly. I quite like her, though am a little intimidated I must say! I realized going back to uni to study starting with my weakest subject, Old Testament, was not necessarily the best thought out plan I have ever had. But no doubt it will be interesting!
You know the imagery of the graceful calm duck swimming in the pond? That the duck looks lovely and calm on the surface but its legs are madly paddling underneath? Well......That's not me. I'm more like the duck that splashing about like a mad thing, ha!
The other day I woke up knackered, I looked at my diary, it was clear for the morning though I had Uni in the afternoon.. I decided I was stay home and do some research/emails/paperwork for my job. So I had a bit of a lazy morning, knowing I didn't have to physically face anyone. Instead of getting showered and dressed, I pulled on a hoodie over the old daggy trackies and plain cotton top I slept in, threw on my black walkers and rolled out the door.
At this point something felt "off". I rechecked my diary, all was good. Shrugged it off as paranoia. I loaded everyone in the car, coffee in hand and drove the 30 mins to school and childcare.
Dropped everyone off, on time, all good. Thought I would nip in to Foodland grab a few fresh groceries and put a simple casserole in the slow cooker, ready for the boys when they came home for dinner. I was feeling quite content while thinking I was rocking the work life balance thing that morning.
Then my phone beeped....It was a reminder for a meeting I had in 45mins. It was a 1hr trip if I was to try and swing past my house to grab my work stuff and try and look even remotely presentable. AKA not looking like I had just rolled out of bed. Which I had....oops.
I rang my boss hopefully, thinking maybe I had programmed my phone wrong. Nope. As a small expletive slipped out of my mouth, I jumped into the car completely mortified. RAN into Big W, grabbed a note book, pen, and loose casual comfy pants I knew I would wear again and again. I was legit in and out in about 7 minutes. Rummaged through the mountain of things sitting in my car, I have been meaning to sort through, found my favourite scarf I had misplaced, pulled off my hoodie as the top underneath was just a plain cotton top, tied up my hair, threw on some deodorant, rummaged through my "spares" bag, found some wipes I keep in the car to freshen up, pulled off my fluffy socks so I was wearing my plain black walkers, realized I had to change my pants in the car in the Big W underground car park, I was just praying no one would walk past at that very moment. I got to the meeting, looking almost presentable, and almost on time.....Thankfully it all went well. Chaos I tell you, Chaos!
This afternoon I thought it would be nice to take some photos of the garden, pick some flowers for the table while the boys played......I wandered around the garden, snapping some lovely photos, trying to relax and be present. The reality was, when I went to upload them here I realized I left the memory card out of the camera, which means none of the photos were saved, the kids fought like cat and dog, screaming blue murder at each other the entire afternoon. So I gave up, wandered back inside, where it was quieter, poured myself a glass of wine, pulled up the rocking chair in front of the wood oven and chilled out while dinner cooked.
But as I bumble though these days, things are good, there are simple moments scattered throughout the chaos, slow moments of togetherness. We are so very blessed, my heart is full. It is so important to be able to laugh at your self rather then fret and worry. I have peace that I will find my feet soon enough and I am meeting some beautiful people on the way.
The kitchen is nearly done now Goodness there is such freedom in having a workable space. I did not realize how hard it had been trying to make do all this time. The oven will be connected next week, the light oak laminate flooring will be laid once the back end of the house is repaired. It is only a small kitchen, but very workable. The range hood needs to installed, Window repaired, tiling done. Slow and steady. The realities of DIY.
Much love,
Emma
Xx
