Firstly I wanted to say thanks for everyone's kind words, comments and support to my first vlog. It was a really interesting process and I look forward to learning more and getting better at it as I go along. It was quite a daunting thing to put up. If you missed it you can watch it here HERE
For those of you who have been following along for many years know that roughly 3 years ago I became unwell with pericarditis, a virus attacked my heart and it became weak and inflamed. Usually, pericarditis is resolved relatively quickly but mine went on to become chronic and along with it I developed a kind of chronic fatigue. I was unwell for a good 18 months and I needed to leave my part-time chaplaincy work and theological study. Prior to having Elsie, I had two miscarriages so my body has endured, and come through a huge amount in the last three years. But as a result of it all, I have put on a lot of weight which at times I am incredibly self-conscious of. I am working on, and mostly winning at reframing my inner dialogue regarding my body shape.
Women are consistently told that being slim is more beautiful, it is seen as perfectly acceptable to pass comment on a persons weight gain or loss, rather than first consider a person's overall health. It's an awful way of existing. Those values have been forced upon us by an industry that requires women to be filled with self-doubt and insecurities in order to coerce them into a consumerist model. Imagine if holistic health was celebrated and pursued. The world would be a very different place.
My focus now is on health, core strength and improving my gut health via following roughly along with a Nourishing Traditions style of eating. Which has a focus on whole foods cooked well, bone broths along with fermented foods and soaked grains. I have noticed recently I feel a lot stronger and healthier in myself then I have in the last few years. I can feel my body is healing although I still have bouts of extreme fatigue now and again. Fortunately, they are usually short-lived these days. Mentally and spiritually I feel incredibly content and happy and I think in time if I continue along this path my body will settle into its own ideal weight when the time is right, without me forcing it or admonishing it along the way.
So to stand in front of a camera and post my first vlog to YouTube was confronting, knowing the kind of cruelty that bigger women often have to face on a public platform. It was an experiment as such. For those of you that liked, followed and commented with such kindness on the channel your support means alot and as a result of that encouragement, vlogging is something I look forward to pursuing further.
Things here on the farm are going really well otherwise. Grant has a new job which he can do around farm work and the morning school run so that's ideal. The people he is working for are genuinely wonderful people who care deeply about their staff which is refreshing. They treat their staff with respect and loyalty, knowing their staff will inturn work hard for them and show them the same kind of loyalty in return. A basic principle that seems to be missing these days in many workplaces, where the bottom line is looked at and making a quick buck overrides long term planning of having solid, loyal, reliable, hardworking employees. Looking after employees well will always cost less in the long run due to increased understanding of the intricacies within a certain workplace, fewer mistakes, more efficient systems being developed over time and less time needed to spent training up new staff constantly. I have surgery coming up soon and Grant will need a little time off to help with Elsie, his new workplace is very understanding and supportive of this and have assured him his job will be waiting which is a huge relief.
It does however, mean the market garden will not be expanded any further at this point in time. Instead we will keep it as a family veggie garden with the aim of putting out a farmgate stall in the future for excess produce. There is so much infrastructure yet to build and the bugs to expand which is where Grant feels the hours he does have here need to be put at this point in time. Not to mention the yurt to finish. It doesn't mean there will never be a market garden, it's just due to Covid and Grant loosing his job we were pushing harder then we were really ready too, so we have pulled back a bit. Rome wasn't built in a day and all that.
Tucker has settled in beautifully, though he has a penchant for chasing vehicles which has been problematic while the sustainable logging has been underway. They have done a brilliant job of sourcing good hardwood from the designated areas without touching the protected areas or sullying up the waterways. We have roads established in the hills now which will help with future bushfire mitigation and seasonal backburning. The money raised will allow us to clear our personal debit, buy a small excavator with a post hole borer for fencing and some floor coverings for the yurt. Oh, and I promised the boys a new trampoline. Ours is currently sporting a giant hole which is not ideal. To the credit of the kids though, they have made the hole a part their games and usually manage to jump around it. Usually.
I keep pinching myself now. To think of where we are today to where we were 18 months ago is astounding. Life is certainly getting easier and although financially things are still tight, its not nearly as stressful as it was when we first moved and we were genuinley struggling to make ends meet on a day to day basis. Maybe we weren't so mad moving here after all.
Emma
xx
