Sometimes I hear the phrase;
"But what do you DO all day?"
Or
"I find being at home so boring, I could never only do that."
Our previous garden in the little old cottage. Creating a nice home makes it all the more enjoyable to be in. Home should be a place we feel comfortable and can be our true selves.
And whilst I acknowledge I have currently chosen a somewhat traditional role of being a full-time homemaker, I remain passionate about feminist issues. I feel respected in my choice to be at home and I recognise my immense privilege which has allowed me to be a full-time homemaker. Since having children I have done all combinations of work. When Will was 11 months old I returned to part-time work and readily picked up extra shifts. I have also worked casually for a nursing agency, returned to study theology part-time and then worked two part-time chaplaincy jobs whilst doing so. In the future, once our fourth baby is older, I may further pursue chaplaincy/pastoral work in order to allow Grant more time to work on the farm. I remain open-minded and flexible about what the future holds.
I also want to acknowledge that I'm deeply thankful for the opportunities women have today to be able to pursue their desired career path. I celebrate the women who work whilst juggling motherhood and pursuing their careers. I celebrate the women who don't have children and respect their choice to live their life in a way that resonates with them. I recognize women still face a significant gender pay gap and under-representation in top roles across the board and this absolutely needs to change.
Which is a total load of rubbish.
It is true that there are some areas of homemaking that I find boring, like doing the dishes. It is perhaps my least favourite job and I very much look forward to having a dishwasher again. But there are boring aspects of every job. When I was a nurse I certainly did not enjoy toileting patients nor cleaning up various bodily fluids in times of illness. But I did it the best I could and with respect and care to preserve the dignity of the person in front of me. It was simply part of the job. All jobs have parts which we don't enjoy or find dull. Take the colleague who talks too much in staff meetings and prolongs them unnecessarily, the deadlines that mount up, the seemingly endless paperwork and box-ticking that take away from other more important tasks.
Certainly, homemaking has dull and tedious aspects too. But it can also be interesting, challenging and deeply fulfilling. Like many things in life, perspective is key. If we think something is going to suck, then it probably will.
Homemaking can be deeply enjoyable and satisfying. I have chicken broth simmering on the aga to make a spicy Thai soup for my lunch, and the rest will become chicken noodle soup for the boys. Dinner will be a hearty corned beef with fresh, seasonal veggies and a cheesy white sauce. Nothing beats good food, cooked well. I admit I'm more of a hearty cook than a fancy cook but I usually enjoy cooking, and I'm grateful for the time I get to do it well. With the internet at our fingertips and endless cookbooks, there are so many recipes to explore and skills to learn if that's your thing. It doesn't have to be boring and repetitive. Being a cook or a chef is a perfectly acceptable career choice, so why would similar skills be diminished when undertaken in the home?
Then there is budgeting. As a homemaker I budget, I source bargains and I make our money stretch as far as possible. Grant appreciates this skill and the respect it shows to our household finances, I appreciate the fact that I am an equal partner in our finances, as I should be. Together we plan purchases and we get a real kick from sourcing an item we need from an op-shop, second-hand online or even free from the recycling centre Grant works for. We have scored ceramic pots, clothing, household items, a wood oven, perfectly good dog beds, hand tools, a solid timber blanket box, plumbing fittings, a sink, windows, building materials and more. Not only is it a more sustainable and environmentally friendly way to source what we need, but it also saves a fortune. Managing home finances is an important role. It requires skills to budget, save, manage accounts and prioritise bills.
Planning interesting and affordable experiences for our family is also important. We go on regular bushwalks through the farm, exploring the numerous beautiful areas it has to offer. Then there are lovely drives exploring the country, national parks, community events/places and going to the beach. Ensuring our children have lots of access to nature to learn, question and discuss what they see is essential in raising environmentally aware adults. We don't need to spend a fortune at specially designed 'children friendly' spaces to have an interesting, educational and fun time with our family.
Then there are personal interests. These will vary from person to person, and with the internet at our fingertips, there is no need to ever stop learning. I'm currently planning an extensive productive garden and eventually, there will be livestock to care for. I blog regularly and more recently have started writing for Grass Roots magazine. I sew which requires creativity, the ability to follow a pattern, work out measurements and problem-solve. I make soap and my own cleaners and when I'm undertaking a less enjoyable task I pop on a podcast. I also love to read, and if you love to read, then you will never be bored. There are so many productive and useful things we can do in the home, we just have to have a look around and see what takes our fancy.
If you really want to be a full-time homemaker, and you are able to do so I encourage you to embrace it with gusto and pride. Being a homemaker can be a wonderful, productive and valuable life choice. It's ok to want to live a simpler, quieter life. It is certainly not for everyone, and that's perfectly fine. We each possess different skills, abilities and motivations. There is such beauty in the diversity of human nature. If we were all the same, the world would be a far less interesting place.
Much love,
Emma
xx
"But what do you DO all day?"
Or
"I find being at home so boring, I could never only do that."
Our previous garden in the little old cottage. Creating a nice home makes it all the more enjoyable to be in. Home should be a place we feel comfortable and can be our true selves.
And whilst I acknowledge I have currently chosen a somewhat traditional role of being a full-time homemaker, I remain passionate about feminist issues. I feel respected in my choice to be at home and I recognise my immense privilege which has allowed me to be a full-time homemaker. Since having children I have done all combinations of work. When Will was 11 months old I returned to part-time work and readily picked up extra shifts. I have also worked casually for a nursing agency, returned to study theology part-time and then worked two part-time chaplaincy jobs whilst doing so. In the future, once our fourth baby is older, I may further pursue chaplaincy/pastoral work in order to allow Grant more time to work on the farm. I remain open-minded and flexible about what the future holds.
I also want to acknowledge that I'm deeply thankful for the opportunities women have today to be able to pursue their desired career path. I celebrate the women who work whilst juggling motherhood and pursuing their careers. I celebrate the women who don't have children and respect their choice to live their life in a way that resonates with them. I recognize women still face a significant gender pay gap and under-representation in top roles across the board and this absolutely needs to change.
But amidst the important process of obtaining equal rights for women and the subsequent and vital shift which allowed women to pursue a career of their choice, something shifted in the way home making was perceived. Homemaking became seen as a boring and lesser path, requiring less intelligence, skill and value than a career outside the home.
Which is a total load of rubbish.
It is true that there are some areas of homemaking that I find boring, like doing the dishes. It is perhaps my least favourite job and I very much look forward to having a dishwasher again. But there are boring aspects of every job. When I was a nurse I certainly did not enjoy toileting patients nor cleaning up various bodily fluids in times of illness. But I did it the best I could and with respect and care to preserve the dignity of the person in front of me. It was simply part of the job. All jobs have parts which we don't enjoy or find dull. Take the colleague who talks too much in staff meetings and prolongs them unnecessarily, the deadlines that mount up, the seemingly endless paperwork and box-ticking that take away from other more important tasks.
Certainly, homemaking has dull and tedious aspects too. But it can also be interesting, challenging and deeply fulfilling. Like many things in life, perspective is key. If we think something is going to suck, then it probably will.
Homemaking can be deeply enjoyable and satisfying. I have chicken broth simmering on the aga to make a spicy Thai soup for my lunch, and the rest will become chicken noodle soup for the boys. Dinner will be a hearty corned beef with fresh, seasonal veggies and a cheesy white sauce. Nothing beats good food, cooked well. I admit I'm more of a hearty cook than a fancy cook but I usually enjoy cooking, and I'm grateful for the time I get to do it well. With the internet at our fingertips and endless cookbooks, there are so many recipes to explore and skills to learn if that's your thing. It doesn't have to be boring and repetitive. Being a cook or a chef is a perfectly acceptable career choice, so why would similar skills be diminished when undertaken in the home?
Cooking can be so many things. It can be interesting and challenging, and it can be as simple as making your own muesli to save money.
Then there is budgeting. As a homemaker I budget, I source bargains and I make our money stretch as far as possible. Grant appreciates this skill and the respect it shows to our household finances, I appreciate the fact that I am an equal partner in our finances, as I should be. Together we plan purchases and we get a real kick from sourcing an item we need from an op-shop, second-hand online or even free from the recycling centre Grant works for. We have scored ceramic pots, clothing, household items, a wood oven, perfectly good dog beds, hand tools, a solid timber blanket box, plumbing fittings, a sink, windows, building materials and more. Not only is it a more sustainable and environmentally friendly way to source what we need, but it also saves a fortune. Managing home finances is an important role. It requires skills to budget, save, manage accounts and prioritise bills.
If you love to read, then you will never be bored. This is part of my theology book collection.
Then there are personal interests. These will vary from person to person, and with the internet at our fingertips, there is no need to ever stop learning. I'm currently planning an extensive productive garden and eventually, there will be livestock to care for. I blog regularly and more recently have started writing for Grass Roots magazine. I sew which requires creativity, the ability to follow a pattern, work out measurements and problem-solve. I make soap and my own cleaners and when I'm undertaking a less enjoyable task I pop on a podcast. I also love to read, and if you love to read, then you will never be bored. There are so many productive and useful things we can do in the home, we just have to have a look around and see what takes our fancy.
I love gardening, even a few pots of herbs can bring so much enjoyment, save money, being flavour to meals and interest to outdoor spaces.
If you really want to be a full-time homemaker, and you are able to do so I encourage you to embrace it with gusto and pride. Being a homemaker can be a wonderful, productive and valuable life choice. It's ok to want to live a simpler, quieter life. It is certainly not for everyone, and that's perfectly fine. We each possess different skills, abilities and motivations. There is such beauty in the diversity of human nature. If we were all the same, the world would be a far less interesting place.
Much love,
Emma
xx
