One of the things we have pondered in our simple living journey as a family is the issue of pocket money. Do we give it? How much? And what for?
For
us, we are on a pretty tight budget. We
don’t believe money brings people much joy, and our desire is to raise kids who
are content with what they have. To find happiness comes from within, rather from all the bright shiny things you can buy. It is
also really important they are able to happily pull their weight around the
house because it is the right thing to do – not because they are paid for
it. The sheer volume of marketing that
is directly geared towards children in todays modern world to make them want all kinds of junk greatly
concerns us too. But like most parents,
we want them to know the joy of working hard and earning their own money and
the pride that comes with achieving their goals.
So,
week to week we do not give pocket money. But if the boys come to us, wanting to earn
money we will give them extra jobs with an agreed price and they can start and
stop those as they desire.
The
jobs we do not pay them for, nor negotiate on are:
-
tidying their room (It’s not my crap in there.)
-
putting the clothes in the wash/putting clean clothes away. (Because one day I
hope they find a wonderful partner and no one likes a slob.)
-
picking up after themselves (Its not my crap, and once again no one enjoys living with a complete slob.)
-
helping with general indoor housework like vacuuming/dusting (unless I’m ill
and Will vacuums the whole house, or if he is particualy helpful above and beyond, I might give
him a few dollars as a thankyou.)
-
feeding/watering the animals (They depend on us and are family members.)
-
picking up after the animals (basic hygiene)
-
doings dishes etc. (they are not all mine, and its not all my job,)
-
watering the garden (because I’m not convinced they do it well, it usually ends
in a water fight - haha!)
-
setting/clearing the table (not all my mess and I’m not a maid.)
It
might not seem like there is not much left they can do but I assure you there
is. See we don’t pay them for these
things as I don’t consider them as “extras”.
I consider them as the responsibilities of the whole family to ensure we
live in a clean and somewhat tidy house.
That all members of the house are cared for, including the
furry/feathered and scaly ones. I am not
the only one who makes the mess, and by golly I am not going to be the only one
who cleans it up. But these things are
not usually a point of resistance. Work
is not an un-plesant thing to do, infact it’s a good thing to do. So, I don’t find it hard to motivate them
generally. I mean they play with the
animals as they potter about, and its caring for their own stuff.
If
they are not willing to tidy up their mess, then they probably do not value it
enough. It might mean it is time to have
a chat to see if they have out grown it and to take it away and donate it/bin
it or what ever the appropriate action is.
Kids love to help other kids, if there is a consistent conversation in
the house about helping others, about how grateful we are for all we have, and
about passing on those things we don’t need then we can empower our kids to be
generous.
The
TV goes off, we do our jobs as a family and then we can each go and do what interests
us, after we might do something fun, or they are free to potter in their own
little worlds. I don’t hassle them about
doing “extra” jobs for pocket money – that is up to them to decide for
themselves. I believe it is important
for them to have control over their finances from a young age, so they
naturally develop an understanding about earning, saving and spending as they
are ready. I believe they need to be
self-motivated about it. I’m not
interested in nagging them, it doesn’t bother me if they are broke.
Here
is an example of what it looks like for us.
A few weeks ago, Angus was desperate for a Lego Ninjago book with a figure that came with it, from the school book catalogue. The problem was that he didn't have enough money for it. He was a bit upset, but we talked about it and
I pointed out if he saved more he could buy himself a small box of Ninjago,
which would be better value for his money. We had a look and he found the very one he wanted which was $22.
So, we gave him a job of filling the wood bin. Every day he gathered wood with his little
trailer and filled the wood bin by the back door, and the little box near the
fire for which he earnt $1. We gave him
other options of earning money as well, but this was the job he choose and was
willing to do. Once or twice he got
upset and went on strike, as the goal seemed so far away. $22 is a lot to earn for a little
fellow! But he quickly picked up his
little socks and got on with it again, after I allowed his big brother William
to do the job and earn the $1 allocated to it.
(He quickly learnt there is always someone else to do the job if he was
not.) Every day after he had done the job well, I paid him his $1 coin. It HAD to be a $1 coin, it couldn’t be any
other combination of coins to make up the money. Each night I had to go and swap out the money
from his money box so I would have the right coin for him ready for the next
day. I even tried to give him $2 one
day, to give him a boost along, but he was adamant he had only earnt $1 for the
wood. Angus is what we call very
particular, and a little obsessive. 😉
Eventually
he earnt his $22 and we went to the shop and he bought his box of Lego – he was
SO proud of himself! He has played with
it every day non-stop. Carefully making
it on a tray, keeping track of all the pieces.
One day he accidentally dropped his most prized Lego man and Aggie the
Scottish Terror chewed its arm clean off before he realized. My goodness there were tears and my heart
broke for him after all his hard work.
But, William came to the rescue with a solution much faster than I
could. He went and broke two of his Lego
men to get a red arm and then a black hand off a favorite Star Wars man so his
little brother could have his back intact, perfectly as it was. (With Angus’s obsessiveness, these things are
BIG things in our house and he was genuinely shattered.)
This
way of pocket money is completely dictated by the boys. It is initiated by them, it requires
self-motivation, and they will achieve their goals at the pace they are willing
to work. William is perhaps less focused, and
driven, but he also applies himself well when he wants too.
When
it comes to what they are able to buy – crappy toys that break and will simply
go to land fill are a firm “no”. But
this is not hard to explain, and I get very little kick up about it. They are all too aware of the disappointment
that comes when they have been given something for it to only break that same
day, and William is turning into a little environmental warrior! Lego, books, balls, games pieces, collecting
cards, stickers tend to be the things they like. William likes to buy succulents. (which I can’t
love enough, seriously how cool is that?!!)
I
wonder how others on the simple living, consumer avoidance path tackle the same
topic?
Much
love,
Emmaxx
