The life we value.

Sometimes I look at my life and I just feel tired. 

Knowing we are at the beginning of a big haul.  I look at my friends posts on face book about building their new big brand new home, or their beautiful homes that a team of tradies has come in and renovated for them, the expansive space and the fact each of their kids has their own room.  I feel like I would quite like that!  

I look at the holidays, or the shiny new cars, sometimes the shopping trips with bags from shops I can't really afford to buy from. 

Then I look at my life, with its little old cottage, all 5 of us sharing a bedroom.  A kind of chaotic house in full swing of renovations.  Knowing my beautiful Grant will come home after working a full week of work to spend the full weekend renovating. 

Sometimes I wonder why we are doing it.  Why don't we embrace the big mortgage and buy a beautiful finished house?  What are we putting in fences to grow veggies?  Why don't we just buy them and save ourselves the hassle?  Then if we didn't have all this work to do we could spend our weekends doing things together. Going out, watching movies, going to the beach. 

And then the voice of realism speaks into the green eyed day dream that's taking over my mind.  It reminds me we can have time OR money.  Not both.

Every choice we make has a cost.  Either financially or time wise.  There are other costs of course.   Like emotional, physical and spiritual costs which need to be given their due weight and consideration. 

I remind myself that if we were to have that big beautiful home, I would have to work.  A lot.  We wouldn't have those wonderful weekends together that exist within my imagination because I would be working every weekend to pay for the house we would hardly get to be in together.  We would never be able to afford to buy a farm one day because it would mean our mortgage would be over 30 plus years.  And a 30-year mortgage would mean we were near 60 by the time we paid it off, and well it’s not ideal to go into farming at 60 years old.  A dream requires sacrifice. 

In this modern, fast paced world we are not so good at sacrifice, discomfort or even contentment for that matter.  There are things you can buy today to ease the sensation of nearly all those things, I'm quite sure.  But to be able to sit in them and find some kind of peace?  Now that is a gift and a skill of immeasurable value.

So in this life, as we work towards our dreams - we choose time and trying to live simply, within our means.  Time for me to be at home in this season.  It is not easy, and it is not without its frustrations.  We take on as much work as we can ourselves because we have chosen to have time in our lives, with our young family.  Not money. 

The space we get from trying to live simply means we can give to worthy causes.  To help others.  not as much as we would like perhaps, but a good amount considering our budget.  If we had a bigger, fancier house or a newer car this would not necessarily be the case.  It may not be the biggest, the best or the most beautiful little cottage around.  But it is enough, in reality it is more than enough.  The fact we even have such incredible choices in our lives means we are richer than most.   

The best bit about me being at home is that I can do some of the work that's in my heart of hearts.  Working within various outreach ministries in the church.  Working with beautiful troubled kids who need people to mentor and walk with them through these formative years of their lives, the kind of work that can only be done with time and presence.  We can and are setting up a new ministry in our town to our support families, to give TLC to beautiful Mums who are doing their best with their little ones.  One day soon I hope that includes a community garden.  It allows me the time to study ministry, to deepen my knowledge, my faith and my understanding of God.  (well ok, I am not managing my study as well as I would like, but I try and I do love it when I can eventually get into the groove.)


If it were not for living simply, for making the choices we have, I would not get to explore whats in the depth of my heart of hearts.  What I truly believe I should be doing with my life.  My life would be richer financially perhaps, but poorer spiritually.  Our family would spend less time together. 

So as I take another look around my life I shake away the lens of the green eyed monster and I look through the lens of truth.  The reality that choosing this life means we are able to live out and work towards the things that are on our heart of hearts.  We get a deeper life.  Perhaps a more challenging life in this season.  But it is far richer in all the ways that truly matter to us.  So I look at the little old cottage and see her beauty.  Not just in what she is going to become, but in what she allows us to give as a result. 

May you see the beauty in your life this long weekend, though the cracks and the crumbly bits.  Blessings for a safe and happy long weekend for those in Australia. 

Much love,
Emma

xx
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