How did I get so lucky?

Do you ever look around at your little corner of the world and think......

How did I get so lucky?

I do.  All the time. 

Sometimes I look at our tired old cottage and struggle to see past all the work we need to do.  And not just a bit of paint and flooring.  Salt damp treatment, plastering, wiring, demolition.  The list goes on.  Sometimes I wonder what were we thinking? 

But then I look at my boys, sitting in a peaceful moment, laying draped on top of each other like a bundle of puppies, and my heart stops.  Filled with love for these boisterous, determined little men that have been gifted into my care. 

How did I get so lucky?




I look around the little old cottage and see plaster falling of the walls and paint peeling, thinking of the hard dirty work yet to come.  Then I look past it and see what really matters.  My book cases filled with books to suit everyone in this house.  The warm comfortable beds, with cosy sheets.  More then enough clean warm clothes to protect us from the elements.  Precious teddies and toys that have been so loved their fur is almost rubbed completly off. 

How did I get so lucky?

I look at the never ending pile of dirty dishes that seem to accumulate out of no where into my sink, then I remember last night my boys eating a big nourishing meal of home made spaghetti bolognaise,  Saucy grins and little full round bellies.  We have never truly known hunger. 

How did I get so lucky?

I look into the yard at the demolition that's going on, the piles of rusted twisted iron, the burn off pile of rotting wood and off cuts, and broken old furniture past repair and re-use.  I look past the ugly parts and see the parts we have touched, and I see the soft green lawn, my herbs and flowers growing in the soil we are improving, a fence to keep my boys safe, chooks scratching away, our beautiful dogs eager to see us as they settle by our feet, just to be near us.  Fresh clean country air to breathe.

How did I get so lucky?

Sometimes by the end of the day I'm SO tired, worn out to the bone, mentally, physically and spiritually.  A kind of accumulated tired I didn't know was possible before having children, owning a business and renovating a home.  I wait, frustrated for a break.  A breather for the moment my Grant comes through the door.  But he does come home.  He comes in after his long day and picks us up.  Sometimes not in the way I want, sometimes not in MY way, but he does in the best way he can, and really that's all we can ask of anyone isn't it?  He loves us ferociously, and us him.  The gentlest soul I am privileged to know, and I get to share my life with him. 

How did I get so lucky?

I am in a season of tiredness at the moment, it seems to take all my energy to do what I need to do around here, then there is nothing much left.  My tank is low, our gate is shut.  It has been a tough 6 months.  Even Grant who is eternally energetic and optimistic admitted to me last night it really has been a tough 6 months which made me feel validated in my tiredness. 



It is my birthday today, and I have been so blessed.  I need for nothing, and want for little.  (ok, maybe a dishwasher....)  As I sit here and reflect on my life, mess, chaos, piles of washing, I wonder....

How did I get so lucky?

Much love,
Emma
xx








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